hell and back cont. (2010)

I wouldn't answer right away
For lack of something wise to say
For if I were to answer true
And say that it was all for you
He'd surely strike me dead as dust
And say that it was only just
For if I were to make it back
All scarred and singed and sooted black
I know it wouldn't change a thing
I'd feel that old familiar sting
My heart would leap into my throat
I'd blink back tears and write a note
I'd leave it under your front door
And there you'd find it, on the floor
It'd be too late, but that's okay
For all my little note would say
"To burn in hell, I'd much prefer
To seeing you, still loving her."

hell and back (2010)

I'd go to hell and back for you
If only you would ask me to
But if I were to travel there
I'd burn my face and singe my hair
I'd roast the bottoms of my feet
and forfeit my soul to the heat
I'd break my heart and lose my mind
My eyes would quit and leave me blind
Beelzebub would ask me why
I'd travel so far just to die
I wouldn't be able to speak
But I'd croak, in a voice so weak,
"Love," I'd say. "A promise made
back when I was not afraid
of death or life or love or pain."
He'd laugh and ask me, "To what gain?"

music (2010)

You are lyrics
The ones in my head
The ones that scream and cuss and give me headaches
I wanna turn the volume down
But I don't
Because I like the pain

You are chords
But not the pretty kind
The kind that don't sound right, don't sound like music
I wanna turn the volume down
But I don't
Because it's a beautiful kind of wrong

You are beats
The reason I'm dancing
The only thing that keeps me moving, keeps me going
I wanna stop
But I can't
Because I love the music

addiction (2010)

And if it's killing you, alright
Love it, let it, don't you fight
But will it kill you quicker
if I walk away tonight?

I know the places that you've been
And all that secret, silent sin
But I can't take away the pain
if you won't let me in.

I see it pull you under and
I only want to understand
I'll watch the clock and count the tick-tick
ticking of the second hand.

And if it's killing you, okay
It's far too late to walk away
But you're killing yourself, my love
and it's a bit cliché.

polaroid (2010)

She's got you stuck in black and white
Closed in and trapped
On every side
She lights a match, the walls ignite
Oh, you can run
But you can't hide

You find you're smiling all alone
In your prison
In the trash
A face you think you might have known
Has shriveled up
And turned to ash

The flames begin to lick your skin
And you can't move
You're petrified
But even they can't melt the grin
That stole the heart
That you denied

They're burning through your clever lies
And you're afraid
That it's too late
If you could move, you'd shield your eyes
The heat alone
Has sealed your fate

And still your ashes seem to smile
Though they are cold
And grey in hue
She holds them in her hand a while
And whispers that
She misses you

by the sea (2010)

Touch my heart and take my hand
Leave me down there in the sand
I'll lie still and silent with
a broken seashell in my hand

Watch the water turning red
Think of something else, instead
the words to some old love song that
you couldn't get out of your head

Hurry, leave it all behind
Put me right out of your mind
Tell yourself it's all okay
there's nothing left for them to find

The sunset sets along the bay
just as the waves wash me away
You're with her now, just you and her
Does she know where you've been all day?

war (2010)

Say it's over,
Say we're through.
Say it 'til you think it's true.

You're never free,
You're never done.
We'll prosecute you if you run.

What is violence?
What is gore?
We're not fighting anymore.

All this anger,
All this pain.
And to what gain?

War.

ball & chain (2010)

I think I ought to keep a list
of lies that I have told.
For otherwise, they tend to twist
and then, at last, unfold.

These webs I spin are sticky, sir;
they'll catch you off your guard.
Getting in is tricky, sure,
But getting out is just as hard.

I have to watch my step for fear
that I won't make it through.
I'm in so deep that it's not clear
what is and isn't true.

But if I kept a list, you see,
few issues would remain.
These webs, at last, would leave me be
with just my ball and chain.

adieu (2010)

Orange autumns fade to grey,
And sultry summers never stay.
I thought about the world today (in all its glorious decay),
But I came up with nothing new,
Nothing relatively true,
Just things that everybody knew,
And things I've heard them say.

Another sunrise on the bay.
I yawn and sigh and softly say
Good morning to another day (within another quiet May).
And, smelling your peach shampoo,
I lean over an inch or two
And whisper good morning to you,
'Cause I forgot again today.

Remind me how to feel okay
And how much faith it takes to pray
And how to wipe these tears away (if only for one day).
After all that I've been through,
I don't want to believe it's true.
I'm missing you – still missing you.
"Good morning, Anne," I say.
Adieu.

the writer (2010)

Yes, a pen, good sir, a pen!
I'll show you what I mean.
Ideas pop in my head and then
I write them down with this here pen
No matter how obscene.

My trade is that of black and white
No time for fickle grays.
And if you asked my heart's delight
It surely would be but to write.
That's how I'd spend my days.

And I shan't stray. No sir, shan't stray
From that which makes me free.
And if you said, come judgment day
That I must give my pen away
I'd have to disagree.

You've got some nerve, I say, some nerve
To question me again
Someday you'll get what you deserve
Until then, keep the god you serve
And let me keep my pen.

dead language (2010)

I wondered once, upon a whim
'neath moonlight's pallor, cold and dim,
If death should take me now, in which direction
Would my soul impart?

And as my mind for answers searched,
I noticed footprints in the dirt
And followed them for miles, despite the protests
Of my fragile heart.

The footprints ceased and I, then slowing
Looked around, confused, not knowing
What rabbit hole I'd fallen into, stumbled
Into, in the dark.

Around me stood the living dead
"Why don't you stay a while?" they said,
They laughed and played like children and their bones danced
'round with golden sparks.

I tried to run but turned to dance
And fell into the dead man's trance
I lost myself to the allure of what I
Know was not for me.

I still am dancing, to this day
The music just won't go away
My body is content and therefore
I cannot break free.

unrequited (2009)

Take my bullet
Take it, bite it
Your love - so strong
So unrequited

My lips tell lies
With full consent
Your love - now stained
By my intent

Too late to run
I know your mind
Your love - still true
If love is blind

You whisper, "Please."
Sweet suicide
Your love - naïve
A casket's bride

so easily broken (2007)

Stand at attention
Never to mention
The secrets that lie
In the hearts of the damned

Salute your superior
Mask your interior
Your soul to reflect
The turmoil at hand

Stifle your bleeding
Silence your pleading
At the sight of adversity
Your dignity thins

Your spirit is groaning
Incessantly moaning
Pray now for a savior
For forgiveness of sins

Your wounds remain open
Your last words unspoken
So easily broken
So easily broken

i love you (2008)

Excuse me if I stutter
I'm just a little scared
I can't quite find the words to say
But hell, I know they're there

I don't know how to say this
I'm not sure where to start
I want to speak before I think
But I don't trust my heart

I guess I've got to do it
Before I change my mind
Not knowing would be harder
Than if you just declined

So give me a straight answer
And promise me it's true
Tell me what your thoughts would be
If I said, 'I love you.'

still (2008)

Clad in armor
You must feel
So protected
So unreal

A thousand years
A thousand more
Still set to fight
Still set for war

You stand erect
Like you don't know
The war was over
Long ago

You feel no pride
You feel no shame
A sculpted corpse
Your lord to blame

Long live the king.