i stand
silent
bathed in the hum of fluorescent light
afraid to breathe
for fear that this might
against all odds
be real
trembling hands grasp heaving shoulders
and i am my only comfort
all other voices reduce to ringing
in my ears
like gunfire
or a cannon blast
an explosion too close
to spare my faculties
blood chug-chugs in the expanse of my head
loud as a freight train
crashing through these white walls
racing my heartbeat and the gasp of my lungs
to decide who lives
and who dies
they have not once stopped to consider
that no matter who wins
we are all dead.
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